This One Rule Changed My Relationship with Alcohol - and Unlocked Next-Level Clarity and Control

The new standard that's transformed my relationship with alcohol without quitting - and supercharged my energy, focus and control.

In just 4 months (136 days), my effortless discipline around alcohol is at superhuman levels.

No hangovers. No grogginess. But also no going teetotal.

Let me share with you how.

First things first...

I've never had an alcohol Problem (with a capital P) - sound familiar?

But in 2024 I had once again slipped into a problem of drinking a little too much of it, too often.

I wasn't addicted.

I wasn't drinking crazy amounts.

I was never downing a bottle of wine at lunch or waking up unsure where I was.

It was a more gradual slide.

A couple too many drinks on a Thursday.

Groggy and tired, powering through Friday.

Still feeling it a little on Saturday morning.

Often a low-key but noticeable drain on my energy, clarity and commitment to playing full out in my work and life.

I knew I was sabotaging myself and that was a problem.

Because I’ve already had one major wake-up call - a sudden, serious stroke at 30.

Since then - lucky to be able to do anything at all - I’ve been obsessed with vitality, performance and intention.

But that happened 15 years ago. Memories fade and habits slip.

So in 2024 every time I felt off the next morning, or caught myself slipping into a pattern of drinking “one too many”, I knew I had moved back into misalignment.

Rewind: From teetotal to cocktail nerd

From 2013 to 2016, I went fully teetotal.

Three years, not a sip of alcohol.

Not even during a 5 star Vegas trip with unlimited alcohol on tap, at our table on David Guetta's stage(!), next to his DJ booth.

That felt superhuman (and so good to fully experience and remember that night) - but it wasn’t hardcore discipline that led to 3 years 100% sober.

First I had to take a 2 week break from booze, after one painful hangover too many.

My first business was going well (after a few false starts), but I was starting to sabotage my progress with late-night nonsense and morning grogginess.

At the time, it felt like a necessary decision - a 2 week break to recharge and reset my relationship with alcohol.

After 2 weeks I felt so good - because I was training and eating fairly clean anyway - that 2 weeks turned into 1 month. 1 month into 3 months, 3 into 6 and so on.

I decided not to drink again until I really felt like it - and that lasted 3 years!

Not drinking in a world geared towards alcohol also felt incredibly powerful.

That's a feeling I'd like everyone to experience sometime in their life.

I also knew by then - and can tell you unequivocally - that from a health perspective, the optimal level of alcohol is ZERO.

Forget the red wine resveratrol "studies" etc. They are flawed and corrupt - a little bit of red wine is not "good for you" (fight me).

The only semi credible argument that can be made is "alcohol is bad for the body, but sometimes good for the soul".

Maybe - due to shared experiences and social connection, although I would argue through experience that is all achievable without alcohol - and without being "boring".

It does involve developing a personality and social skills without an alcohol crutch though 😜. Vanessa Van Edwards is my favourite communication skills expert.

The problem - my problem - with alcohol is that biologically, once we have some it induces us to want more.

That was why my intention to have 1-2 drinks often turned into 3-6 a little too easily.

When I reintroduced alcohol in 2016, it was because I finally "felt like it" and it was for a new reason: connection.

My wife had gotten into cocktails, and I wanted to hang out with her at cocktail bars.

London's cocktail scene was exploding.

Wildly experimental, creative and even mind blowing ("How did they make that drink taste like that?").

It was a mixed drinks version of what had happened in food many years earlier.

We started exploring it together. I wanted to taste the craft, enjoy the ritual and connect over a shared fun experience.

That was the start of a new chapter — not just drinking, but learning 😉.

And hanging out, enjoying the journey of discovery.

After a couple of years of casually enjoying great bars, I went deep.

I read. Experimented. Built a home bar.

I also got to know the growing non-alcoholic scene with pioneering brands like Seedlip and Lucky Saint through my wellness industry work, and got to know incredible friends like legendary no & low alcohol scene trailblazer Camille Vidal (who I met at a wellness brand's launch party at a bar, connecting over a poorly made Old-Fashioned. Never waste a sh*t drink! But don't drink it either 😅).

I’d spend 30 minutes researching a cocktail and 5 minutes making it*.

And I loved it.

*I still do this 😅

But then, eventually... the old patterns started creeping back in.

Not reckless. Not dangerous. Just… not conscious.

I have built the skills to make world-class drinks at home.

We have become friends with incredible bartenders at some of the best bars in the world.

Comped drinks, rare spirits, endless menus.

And suddenly, the occasional grogginess and hangover had crept back in.

This was despite never "drinking socially". I wasn't drinking because there was a drink going. I was drinking only when the alcohol was high quality.

And yet, once again, I knew I was sabotaging myself and that was a problem.

So in early 2024, I hit pause.

Something had to change.

I wanted to reset again, but this time I knew I didn't want to stop drinking completely.

However I needed to eliminate grogginess or any risk of hangovers.

Enter: One or None

That’s it. That’s the rule I came up with for myself.

The answer to "How to enjoy alcohol without giving up, but also without risking almost any negative effects - short and long term?"

Every day, I would choose: one alcoholic drink, or none at all.

No topping up. No second pour. No “just this once.”

One or None.

It's brutally simple, but I also knew I'd need a new level of discipline to do it, far more than simply not drinking.

It would mean regularly inducing the biological desire to consume more alcohol after the initial drink, and then having the grit to stop. F*ck.

The idea of developing the mental muscle to effortlessly do that felt both daunting and powerful.

Because it would give me full permission to enjoy a drink - but, if adhered to, removes the possibility of grogginess, regret or bad sleep.

(And yes, I’ve tracked it - my Oura ring data shows my sleep quality starts to dip between 1.5–2 cocktails, and falls off a cliff past 3.)

This rule wouldn’t restrict me - it would free me.

I could still go to the best bars in the world.
I could still explore seasonal menus, rare spirits and creative concoctions.
I could still make killer drinks at home.

But I would never get drunk.

I would never have a hangover.

I would never wake up with regrets.

And the discipline would become a source of power, not punishment.

So... how's it going?

As I publish this (20th May 2025), I’m on Day 136.

Yes... I f*cked it up on January 3rd - I'm not perfect 🫠😅 (as you asked, 3 cocktails mixed expertly at home, and they were exquisite).

Started properly on Jan 4th.

Haven’t slipped since 😎.

Here's how I made it work.

1. Being really clear to myself on WHY I chose to do this, and made it one of my top personal goals for the year.
2. Limiting the scope - 1 year, then I'll evaluate. Worst case I've had a year of less drinking, more focus and a reset relationship with alcohol.
3. Give it a memorable name - a mantra. One or None. Exceptional Alcohol Mastery. I do this with top goals to make them easy to remember.
4. Tracking the days - this is the real secret sauce. I use Habit Tracker, a free iPhone app, to track my daily adherence to my top goals.

Once my streak got to around 20 days, the temptation to break it started fading away.

At 136, there's just no way I'm going back to zero.

I hadn't planned this, but I also started keeping a drinks journal on my phone's Notes app.

I know exactly how many drinks I’ve had this year.

Not just that - I’ve logged what I drank, where I was, and why it mattered.

Because I realised: those “amazing” cocktails I used to drink, 4-6 in a session?

A few months later, I couldn’t even remember half of them, only that I "had drank amazing drinks".

Now, every drink is documented, and it's fun to look back at.

And gamified.

My “drinking day ratio” is a live stat in my head - so that I'm happy with the number of days I have consumed alcohol.

It’s no longer about restriction.

It’s about the fun of tracking progress and the joy of remembering standout moments - which every well made cocktail, sip of rare spirit or glass of fine wine represents (otherwise - if it's just run of the mill alcohol - why ingest it all?).

This has rewired the whole experience.

And here’s what’s changed beyond the numbers:

• My physical and mental energy is strong (fitness also plays a part, but I'm never "too groggy to work out" anymore - no excuses).
• I’m more intentional than ever about what I drink - it has to be worth the one slot.
• I’ve broken the old scarcity mindset of “I need to try a few things on this menu today, I don't know when I'm coming back here!”
• I feel clear, focused, and proud - especially when I sit at a bar post-drink, sipping a non-alc or soda water with lime, knowing I’ve chosen power over impulse. Future Niraj is winning.
• Every bartender I’ve told about One or None has respected it. Many have loved it.
• I’ve even saved money - not a major motivator for me, but at £15–20 a cocktail, it adds up quickly.

But most importantly - this effortless discipline has started to spill over into other areas.

It’s not just about alcohol.

It’s about energy as a strategy.
Discipline as a superpower.
Focus as a competitive edge.

In a world where everyone is trying to do more, faster - I want to do less, better.
One or None is a symbol of that.

It’s not for everyone.

But if you want to stay sharp, feel superhuman and never trade tomorrow’s potential for tonight’s impulse - it might be for you.

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